There is nothing more satisfying on a beautiful summer's day than a morning wasted on a direct-to-dvd, 100% certified "B" feature. The sun is shining, the air cool and inviting, the morning stretches out before me like a magic carpet and in the midst of all that God given beauty I found comfort squandering a bit of this preciously short and sweet life on Smokin' Aces 2: Assassins' Ball.
Rotten Tomatoes gave it a 28. Allmovie didn't bother to rate it all. I am sure if I really wanted somebodies opinion I could find it right away online, but, you know, I really don't care to hear what those poobutts have to say. It wasn't an Academy award winner or a Sundance film I was in the mood for this morning. I wanted something to get me past this seriously bad attack of grown up itus I am suffering from. No, I don't want to go to work or even look for it, I want a summer vacation, I want to sit on the beach, have little mamasitas bring grilled fish and coconut pie to me while I rest, somewhat borracho, under the shade of ratty ass palapa somewhere down on the Mexican Riviera.
The Smokin' Aces films are the kind you put on if you can't get away, if your summer vacations look like anything close to mine. Better yet, they're the kind of movies you want close at hand when the buzz of that inexpensive Merlot you were nursing has worn off and you have a bit of latent sugar energy coursing through your veins that you need to burn off. Anymore these days I have a hell of time making it to two or three in the morning when movies like this really do the trick. There are nights when I wake up with all the worries of the world nestled right next to my head on my fluffy down pillow where a movie like SA2 would really fit the bill. This morning, well, I was wide awake, antsy, a bit bored and it suited my needs perfectly!
It wasn't the kind of movie I would want to chase down if only had a couple bucks in my pocket. There wasn't a class A director attached to it and there wasn't really a stellar line up of stars tacked onto it, either, but those who turned out for it were grand. Tom Beringer? Goodness, where has he been? Vinnie Jones? Always a pleasure. The rest of the names and faces of the rest of the cast are somewhat familiar and yet lost on me. Some were carry overs from the original film (SA2, by the way, if you care to know, is a prequel..somehow we couldn't let loose of those endearing manaical characters who survived the 2007 action comedy slip away without slipping another check into their pockets..) many were just celluloid faces, stock action film character actors, some atrocious, some spot on, but most..well, what's the point of being critical? This film had was made for popcorn and a chaser not the red carpet treatment.
Truly, it was a bit of mindless summer fun. Wickedly good looking ninja star wielding pistol packin' gals, hilarious rednecks toting oversized military weapons, English footballer types utilizing the most foul (possibly Craftsman) tools around to extract pain from clients, heck, it even had exploding dwarfs being shot from a circus cannon. Tell me, does any film that qualifies for the Palme d'Or have any of that going for it?
I can't say when this movie will ever screen again around here but as for my satifying my needs today? Yeah, it was golden! Now, anyone care to sit and catch a little bit of Ingmar Bergman or Woody Allen?
Action!
Rotten Tomatoes gave it a 28. Allmovie didn't bother to rate it all. I am sure if I really wanted somebodies opinion I could find it right away online, but, you know, I really don't care to hear what those poobutts have to say. It wasn't an Academy award winner or a Sundance film I was in the mood for this morning. I wanted something to get me past this seriously bad attack of grown up itus I am suffering from. No, I don't want to go to work or even look for it, I want a summer vacation, I want to sit on the beach, have little mamasitas bring grilled fish and coconut pie to me while I rest, somewhat borracho, under the shade of ratty ass palapa somewhere down on the Mexican Riviera.
The Smokin' Aces films are the kind you put on if you can't get away, if your summer vacations look like anything close to mine. Better yet, they're the kind of movies you want close at hand when the buzz of that inexpensive Merlot you were nursing has worn off and you have a bit of latent sugar energy coursing through your veins that you need to burn off. Anymore these days I have a hell of time making it to two or three in the morning when movies like this really do the trick. There are nights when I wake up with all the worries of the world nestled right next to my head on my fluffy down pillow where a movie like SA2 would really fit the bill. This morning, well, I was wide awake, antsy, a bit bored and it suited my needs perfectly!
It wasn't the kind of movie I would want to chase down if only had a couple bucks in my pocket. There wasn't a class A director attached to it and there wasn't really a stellar line up of stars tacked onto it, either, but those who turned out for it were grand. Tom Beringer? Goodness, where has he been? Vinnie Jones? Always a pleasure. The rest of the names and faces of the rest of the cast are somewhat familiar and yet lost on me. Some were carry overs from the original film (SA2, by the way, if you care to know, is a prequel..somehow we couldn't let loose of those endearing manaical characters who survived the 2007 action comedy slip away without slipping another check into their pockets..) many were just celluloid faces, stock action film character actors, some atrocious, some spot on, but most..well, what's the point of being critical? This film had was made for popcorn and a chaser not the red carpet treatment.
Truly, it was a bit of mindless summer fun. Wickedly good looking ninja star wielding pistol packin' gals, hilarious rednecks toting oversized military weapons, English footballer types utilizing the most foul (possibly Craftsman) tools around to extract pain from clients, heck, it even had exploding dwarfs being shot from a circus cannon. Tell me, does any film that qualifies for the Palme d'Or have any of that going for it?
I can't say when this movie will ever screen again around here but as for my satifying my needs today? Yeah, it was golden! Now, anyone care to sit and catch a little bit of Ingmar Bergman or Woody Allen?
Action!
No comments:
Post a Comment